back to begining...

hey, I guess I am back...
to very and really scary beginning.
hm, not back to black as song below says, yet it's my favorite song last few weeks or days...
nobody likes it, but it's so nice song, emotional and sad, melancholic maybe like I am sometimes... so maybe nobody likes me when I am in that mood? anyways I am not planning to be like that now or in the nearest future so cut the crap: )
well, from what to start?
as I can see I didn't wrote anything special here, so I can start with : "I was born..." : )
summer vol 1 has ended and I have like two more months more of summer and than...well after that two months I don't know...maybe another two months of something: )...who knows...or 3? 4?...hm
these days, as you can see, I am a little bit confused...just a little bit, no need to make drama of it.

I am on some kind of crossroad here in my life, I know that after this summer it's not going to be like it was or even like i wanted to be, but...that's life.
It's always changing, specially in my case so radically every two years...one two years period is over and next one is starting...hate it: )and love it at the same time...

Firstly I am in some desperate need of some kind of creative work...so I started to paint...again: )))
did some drawings of some lonely trees in black and white..quite good.
when I finish it I will do some portraits of some ppl around, but shhhhh don't tell them: )it's supposed to be a surprise.
I guess drawing helps me in my thinking and believe me I have a lot to think these days even more than I'd like to...

Last two or three days actually I am alone even though there is my mom and sister and father around...can u believe it- I guess no, 'cause I am never alone, but now I am and solitude is great thing actually...specially when u have so many things in your mind and heart...so many decisions on things u don't have no idea what they are...

Yeah I will probably going to start with work in vip mobilkom in hr team: )))
can u imagine it? I know i can't! specially that work part: )
I will try to use it in the best possible way, it's going to be really good thing in my C V wooohooo :)
I want also to go somewhere, experience smth new in some different country so I am thinking about applying for ceed in Tunisia...or Mongolia, but I think there's no AIESEC there: )

Hm Mongolia is so ql, I just talk with Alex when we were in Zagreb few days ago about our future trips around the globe and we decided to go someday( I hope soon )to Asia,countries like Mongolia, Bhutan, Nepal, India, Burma, Tibet...but firstly I must took her to see Venice in fall. Sounds like a good plan! It's such a great city so amazing, like totally non real...

Yeah last week I've spent in Croatia, visiting her, and I had really great time there , no problems, ppl in AIESEC there are so great, funny and crazy like here...

Split on the coast is beautiful, but no nice beaches, except on islands close.. but actualy we didn't need them 'cause of parties till sunrise and getting up toooooo late: )
Zagreb is actually smaller than I thought -like a third of Belgrade, and totally different architecture...like Budapest or Vienna maybe? i don't know, it's ok, but a lot different in not good way than cities I like...Don't even know why but I didn't felt good there...guess it's summer and it's not living with full speed as Novi Sad for example during summer...
Oh, about NS I can't believe I missed exit again!!! and I'd promised last year I will go this year for certain: (
Hm , well I will not promise anything but I will go there next year!!!
Yeah I will, for certain, no missed e.x.i.t. 's in my life anymore :)

Hm back to beginning...sounds scary? NOT: ) of course when u start over your whole life every two years it's not, but it's a lot harder then before...hate it, and I am really scared to forget and loose...oh just forget as usual, like there is a tide in my soul and that tide is crushing all connections in previous periods...making sweet and close memories far...so far...like it's not mine memories, like it's memories of some strangers...that look like me on photos in albums.

there is always good chance that it's not going to happen again...I know I will give my best.

While I am still around that tidal wave thing, today is Sandra's birthday and six months from my birthday...you know Sandra? I don't...and she was one of my best friends like five years ago...lost her on the end of one of that two years periods...
and now don't even know anything about her...except it's her birthday...I remember her first birthday we celebrated together , there was a really cool party and everybody was so fuckin' crazy, of course with me on the top of craziness...
We were on exit and there was a so ql group there smoke city and we were in to that song whole summer..song is going smth like this : "...after the rain comes sun, after the sun comes rain..." can't actually remember what is the songs tittle, but I know it was so good , nice beats ..oh I know!! the name of song is underwater love!!! can't believe I know it after so much time and events passed by: )
well i will find it now, just to refresh sweet memories that are not lost:)

yup it's still a really great song!!!

ok so enough of me for this post: )
enjoy in underwater love from smoke city like me right now! here is the link to you tube video of this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIYoorXGITE ...enjoy in life it's too short not to !

V.