Carpe diem- one of the greatest paradox ever

It's true. Don't try it. It's stupid and may cost you more than you're willing to give.

The paradox I've realized in Carpe diem way of life and approach is that after a while, people that are living in today, just now, not planning, dreaming...just seizing now... start loosing it. Loosing theirs nows.
And much more, loosing themselves, in all that superficial way of living.

For example, I am quite random person, spontaneous and joyful.
But, what makes me different from most of the salvation/personal philosophy seeking people, is firstly I don't look for deeper cause 'cause I've already recognized it inside me, without any help from outside-you can not seek answers to your big questions in someone else's lives and crap,the answer is always inside you, something like inner voice everyone has, and most of the people fear so much to even listen.

Second thing, I do enjoy in spontaneousness and randomness, chaos, call it whtvr, but I do also enjoy in dreaming and making some kind of deeper plans with higher cause-so making balance between, time period that needs to pass from dreaming to achievement of dream,(so you don't live in planing living, but also don't live without any dream and planning, 'cause at some point you will feel sick off it and become empty and just physical person, without any warnings, you will just wake up and find out your soul is empty, you don't feel a thing and have no dreams and reason to live longer that just that one day, and repeat it over and over until you lose any meaning) and enjoying in every day life, its beauty in small and big things and moments,emotions and random happenings. Finding that balance is crucial, as for living in dreams and not achieved plans and living in pointless everyday nightmare is not the solution without each other balanced and connected like famous butterfly effect- everything that happens in your day or a life time is with reason and it's connected like series of dots just waiting for you to realize their true meaning in some period of time...

But, in this instant world, people like to get everything when they want it,usually instantly like googling this, see in wikipedia that, copy paste this, bla bla etc, and it's done. Same like reading self discovering and development books, horoscopes, tarots,trying to find yourself in religions and every single thing you can imagine...yeah horoscope, tarot or stupid book will help you to find answers that you already posses...paradox of modern person, lost in the world of lots of informations and no limits in bullshits and philosophizing and one of those things is this-my blog, but I will reinvent it for sure.


And as I said on the beginning of the post, losing now by living just in now is the greatest paradox I've discovered in my past months research,'cause by loosing now, you're automatically loosing future , and and by loosing future you're loosing your "tomorrows now" and "future nows",if you understand me?
Complex isn't it...

So that's one of the not happy endings when you start seeking for answers in a bad direction.
But, what about the original reason, why people accept that carpe diem approach and specially in some radical cases (for example some 5-6 people I know almost lost their minds and souls and one even life after living by some self empowerment/development/discovering books( for example, the power of now or the man of future etc)...
Can you believe it? I know I was surprised, 'cause I've hated those books after reading and that amount of bad quality you can find in it. But, even some of my friends that have read it, were obsessed with them and have began their way down after a while in the most terrible kind of way. losing everything, every meaning and purpose and feeling even more lost before the reading...
And, when you realize it and see it on various examples of your friends and people you know or heard of, you can only say wtf!?

And I was asking my self a lot about one question that raises in my mind after all those questions...what is different between us so much, that in me that books and shit, can only born critics and awakening about its wrongness and in some cases final disaster of the process people let them catch into, is sometimes, even drastic and tragedic?

Newest victim as I see it is actor Heath Ledger, found dead on the 22nd Jan.
I was quite shocked, it's not just that we share birthday and sort of physical appearance, it is about the stuff I've found in my research in past week.
Things that he read(will not mention again stupid books), said or done, everything leads to a trace of lost person, "carpe diem victim", everything mentioned above that connects him highly to people I know etc.

but one thing, I've got from his quotes, that is really useful for my continuation of research and finding answers for the things I really can not understand( 'cause I'm alien) is that he was always afraid of new projects, future, planning and stuff...(?)
I screamed "Wow, there is it!"
That difference I was looking for, the great and the smallest difference between people!
And I realize also why I cannot get it and realized it before.'cause I don't feel it. Like, ever. I was never afraid of anything( ok, except sharks:/) and I was/am always brave enough to dream, plan, let go, make a difference and balance, listen to myself and people around me, and never lose faith, never stop believe that everything is going to be amazing, no matter what.
That is what makes me, not liking and falling for books, horoscopes, that whole instant shit...

And it's really amazing feeling you understand something you never could-fear.
And, it's really a paradox that some people don't have it, that bravery and belief in themselves and their dreams, that they are putting everything on a side and ready to lose everything for some stupid advices from the stupid and childish authors of so called books, horoscopes, and stuff. Really sad.

I am striving for harder, better, faster and stronger year in my life. But, not by your rules or any other persons, culture or religion rule.
I have my own rules and standards (like everyone of us have) and I appreciate it the most 'cause that is what I've realized is one of the greatest freedoms every person has-birthright to think and live like they want to and feel like living, makin' choices and gathering that chaotic points and summing up them in the way they feel and want.

As I said lots of time, freedom is my religion, and that's why is my most important value(in my value system of choices I am making every day) and everything good that is going to happen' in my life will happen' 'cause of my freedom attitude and approach,freedom of being me and nobody else.