My way betwen the crossroads

Hey I guess I am again after some 8 months more /less on a crossroad: D and it's not scary as it was in June 2007, situation is much more ql so I cannot even compare myself now as to myself in June last year. But still I am scared like shit now.
As in many monthly posts, I am aware of a big and intensive change I've made for myself, from nothing and negative situation to this, that I am quite satisfied with in which my life has deeper meaning and my acts are planned and balanced and actually for the first time in my life-good for me.
Now, I am on new crossroad of further development of myself and more intensive living of my purpose.
I am quite scared of choices I should make in a weeks to come, and I am aware that after it, much of everything is not going to be even close to same: D
I don't know, some inner voice is telling me to just enjoy the ride and victories in every field of my life that I've succeeded to win and follow my heart, but my mind is telling me to be cautious with possible developments of events and choices I am willing to make about a lot of new opportunities I am offered with.
Summing up, I have various opportunities, like a new job offers,national terms in AIESEC abroad in few countries and some of them are really far away from Belgrade , even Europe and still that question and my wish to stay for at least one more year in Belgrade , finish my faculty and stay in my Local committee which I love a lot, and enjoy the most, and by my opinion,can contribute the most.
Staying here for at least one year is direction that is in my heart and scare me the most and it's quite strange that going abroad is less challenge for me than staying.
So, what should I do? The only thing more scary is to choose to stay here, miss opportunities that I am offered and fail even bigger than the last two times.
Follow my heart and enjoy with my friends or rethink about everything and go explore the world as individual even though I feel that I am not prepared for it?
I am really scared. Like never before.
And there is a possibility I don't let myself think in past few weeks, and that is I didn't do enough in this one year time and that my worst nightmare month -February 2007 is going to happen' again.'Cause I was deciding last time on elections by my heart. And thinking that I will not fail 'cause I care so much.
Thinking I was good enough and best solution.
And I've failed big. Now when I think about it, I am still sad of it, and the whole year has passed! I remember how much energy I've put in writing application, interview, how much I believed, and how I felt after it...shit
In just one and half week from now I will know the results of the choice I still didn't made?
To follow my heart blindly or to choose the easiest way, most secured one?
Fuck so many questions and nobody's offering answers!
The ideal state is that I choose to apply again this year and listen my heart and put the whole my self in it, fight and get the chance to do thing I enjoy the most and have that confidence of people I care. ...but I am not sure I have the trust of those people now.'cause there is a big possibility that they don't give a shit about my personal change and that they still don't confide in me, don't believe in me like I believe in them.Quite cruel but that's life.
But, all that is possibilities I've never cared a lot. Always just being aware, but it never bothered me.
I am different a lot. Fuck it, I have my own way of developing, my own standards, my own values and purpose, vision of my self and potential. I believe in decisions of my heart, 'cause they were always pure, I believe in my dreams, my o potential and people around me. Every thing changes and you can only be better in future, more perfect and better in every single way.
And, I know that I already have the answer to the question from the begining.
Follow my heart.
In a few days I will found out where is it taking me this time? Maybe now I don't even care. Maybe now I will just open my eyes wide and my heart and soul and enjoy the ride, let go of all the fears...Maybe thats my new way between these crossroads.